See Spot Rhyme Like a Social Media Slut: A Love Rap

hello and good evening, ladies and germs, and

girls with extensions and dudes with bad perms, and

get a translator if you think i’m speakin’ german,

i’m a little munster, but my name was never herman..

i like my cover girl to stay easy and breezy,

her presence is a present, like that man, kan-yeezy,

i fell in love right there when she told ’em to free weezy,

a lady in the streets, but in the sheets, a little sleazy..

shiksas are for practice, but that girl is so profesh,

i said my A.D.D. kicks in along with booty in a dress,

i wanna be like mr. clean when her life is in a mess,

get rid of dirt and grease and grime and goo and fear and funk and stress..

but you know..





frankie says relax, and right said fred,

’cause when you’re six feet under, you’ll be better off dead,

and when she goes all sleepy hollow and she loses her head,

she be pickin’ out  her pumpkin when she’s sleeping in my bed..

i’m an oral interpreter, a master debater,

a teller of tales, a linguist, a sayer,

a caller-out-of-bullshit, please do me a favor,

and go vanilla on me, ’cause i’ll have to bring the flavor..

ice cream is for quitters, imma be her fro-yo,

and i know she’s lived a fast life, so imma go slow,

in the car POOL lane, i’m her dick, she’s my jane,

and the way we maintain

is the highway in our brain

so, getting back to the main,

(that was the A.D.D. again)

you make me drool..’cause carbs rule..and i vote pancakes for mayor.


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