Work will set you free to rock the mic


The re-cap began at around 7 P.M.


“Work will set you free.” That’s what it said in German on the big iron gate that led into the camp. “Hate will strip you of your identity, rip your family apart, work you to death, starve you, beat you, kill you,” sounds more appropriate. It was a seriously heavy morning.

Gorden enlightened all of us with his genius, slightly long-winded ways. But really – how could one condense such subject-matter into a four-hour tour? Fuck Hugo Boss, BMW, and Henry Ford, by the way. Boss designed the god damn Nazi uniforms. And apparently those men were like fucking rock stars. It makes me ill.

Then there were the Extermination, excuse me, “Disinfection” showers. 150 men willingly enter a shower to unknowingly get gassed to death. There wasn’t even working plumbing. It was all a front. The heaviness was palpable in there. One man posed while his wife took a photo of him in the shower. He was doing the “thumbs-up.” I wanted to punch both of them in the face.

It snowed that day. Just as Nicole hoped. It was eerie. And depressing. And informative. And fascinating. And hopeful. We saw a statue at the end of the tour of the “anyone” prisoner – not Jewish, or Catholic, or gay – none, and all, at once. The plaque at the end read “This is to honor the dead, and to warn the living” in German.

What a day.

Nicole thought she found her “soulmate” in Gordon. He was gonna meet us up for a drink. When he came, she ran and hid. It was probably for the best. It was also hilarious.


By the end of the day I was exhausted and had a splitting headache on account of the wicked hangover. I tried to take a nap when I got home, but I was woken up by Brian. Who’s name is Sean. The weird alien guy. His name is both Sean and Brian. Maybe Brian Sean or Sean Brian. Whatever. After I came in from booking a flight and getting an e-mail from “Heidi” – whose name is really Sandra – BriSean told me he wanted to go to karaoke. Well, what sane person can resist that?! I got up and got my ass in the shower. We all walk to the Australian/Irish pub. We get a great seat before it gets packed. After two drinks my headache is gone and I feel great. I sing “Beat It” and it was so-so, and then sing “Valerie” and fucking rock. It was so much fun. I meet a beautiful girl named Lullu who won’t kiss me on the “first date.” I like her more for that. We go home. I sleep. Hard.

Today has just been a chill out day. And a good hair day. And an “Oh fuck, I got my period” day. And then an “Oh, phew, at least I won’t have it when I get home to see my friend-with-benefits person” day. Ate some glorious Thai food. Couldn’t handle any more kraut today. It briefly snowed again. I was on the Interweb a lot. Saw a tagged photo from MySpace of my friend-with-benefits person and some dude was full-on grabbing her tits. It made me burn a little inside. Talked to another friend on Gmail chat. Told her that I’m famous in Germany now, and that she should be honored that I’m even speaking to a common person like herself.

Heidelberg tomorrow. It’s a swishy-pants day.


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