Crawlin’ to Italian pubs and sexin’ in Italian alleys


It began at 2:13 P.M. Again, it’s probably much later by now.


We – me, Nicole, Cassidy, and Alex, a guy we met in Interlaken that came back to visit – met at the Spanish Steps with the rest of the crawlers. I immediately notice two girls doing a little foot-tapping dance that I decide I must learn right away. “Teach me that!” I say.

They do.

Jem (short for Jemima) and Claire. Aussies. Nurses. Best friends. We immediately click and begin the crawl. In the first bar, everyone is getting comfortable with one another. I hang out with my new BFFs and also meet another Aussie girl named Katie. She approaches me. We talk. She tells me of her twin sister who has been on her death-bed for four years; I tell her of my dead mother. We bond. I ask her if there are any gay girls on her trip (all the Aussies came together) and she says no. We go to the next bar. Drink. Dance. I stand in line behind Katie in the bathroom. She touches my hands and rubs my arms. We kiss. Men take pics of us. I don’t really care. She’s adorable, but not the greatest kiss I’ve ever had. I go back and dance with Jem and Claire. They warn me against Katie. I don’t listen. A Canadian guy tries to trade me a lame T-shirt for my awesome hoodie. I laugh in his face.

Katie and I decide that we should have some alone time and find a romantic place in a Roman alleyway. I fuck her. I lay my Pub Crawl shirt down on the ground for her to lie on. We stand anyway. I fuck her some more. My shirt now smells like bum piss for no reason. I ask her to come home with me. She wants to. I flag a cab and the driver didn’t know where my hostel was. Katie changes her mind. I go inside and Jem and Claire write their e-mail addresses on my arms. I try to elicit a triple-kiss. They opt against it “’cause you’re a playa!” as Jem says. I love Jem. She looks like Lily Allen. I don’t want to fuck her, but I like her. I think I’ll see them in London. I hope.

I take a drunken cab ride home alone and the driver gives me cigarettes. I appreciate it, as I’ve chain-smoked all of mine throughout the night. I find my way up to the room where Nicole and Cass are. I exclaim “I LOVE LIFE!”, and pass the fuck out.


The scenery on the train ride from Rome to Venice was incredible. During the ride, I read Into the Wild from cover to cover. Really good book. Changes one’s thinking. There was a guy on one of the train rides that kept walking up and down the aisles offering sandwiches and water – “Panini/aqua” he would say, almost in the form of a question. Anyway, he was back. I was happy to see him.

The hostel in Venice is nice. Not the one that we booked, but nice nonetheless. I want to put Venice in my pocket. It’s so cute. And quaint. And there are dogs everywhere. And canals. And I love it.

I’ve had the day to myself today. It’s been really nice. Wrote a lot of this outside at a restaurant – drinking strong Italian beer. I walked around, people-watched, took photos, and ended up inside a different restaurant because I got cold. Meeting the girls at 5 for dinner. Great trip. Great day. Smoking Salems.

Can’t wait for a Marlboro Smooth.

Viva Italia.


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